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hafizah 300989 just average girl next door and extremely petite. don't ever make me mad because trust me,you won't like it. and that is all you need to know. click here for great bargains! friendster
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
i may not have the perfect life and the perfect family.but at least i know i'm true to myself and to other people.and to me, that is what matters the most. dear god,please give me strength because i cannot hold up much longer... Friday, April 24, 2009
as some of you have already know,i didn't get through to NIE.yeah,it sucks pretty bad to get rejected.plus other added pressures,was driving me to emotional and mental exhaustion. i was bawling like crazy yesterday when i got the letter.kept beating myself up,like i always do whenever i'm so disappointed in myself.then i realised the reason why i wasn't accepted - i didn't show that i was actually passionate when answering the questions.my nerves got the better of me.but it all doesn't matter now.like i said before,there is always a damn good reason behind every shit that happens in life. despite the outcome,surprisingly i feel grateful for getting shortlisted because some people applied and got no reply at all.at least i can gauge now what kind of questions will be asked.i'm no quitter so i'll be applying for it again until i get it.i hope that the next round will be a good one. dearest was saying "don't worry,c'mon you have a diploma.it is not the end.even if you be a housewife in the future if we get married or get a low-paid job,it's alright because i am going to support you.i'll make sure i support you." it was really nice having him to console me.but hell no i ain't gonna be a housewife.haha. to those who are still waiting for a reply from NIE or NTU/NUS or whichever university or job,all the best to you. whatever the outcome is,there's a good reason for it. (: Thursday, April 23, 2009
i'm going to get a good job,support myself,be independent and move out.by that time,i'll be old enough to think for myself what i should do so i don't fucking care if i'm allowed to move out or not. i have been extremely patient and struggling emotionally for the past couple of years and it is really starting to take a toll on me now.i don't expect much from people because all they can truly say is simply "endure".i don't blame them.they're not in my shoes so i don't expect them to understand how it feels like.but honestly,my patience is running thin and i don't know how much longer i can hold up. i'll admit,the day that i move out will be the happiest day of my life. as for now i'll just have to suck it up as long as i can and have faith that Allah has better plans for me in the future. and trust me,i will never miss home at all. i swear to god,i'm NOT gonna be like my parents when i have my own kids.parenthood is not easy but i swear,i'm gonna work my ass off to be a good parent for my kids. Tuesday, April 21, 2009
yesterday night,mother told me that the sisters and i,including her are gonna stay for 3 days 2 nights in crowne plaza hotel,terminal 3 in mid june. she said "well it's okay if we can't travel abroad at least we get to see aeroplanes" my first reaction was "errr..what?" my mother can be so weird sometimes. anyway i don't know if it's a good or bad thing,or if i should be ecstatic.not that i'm being ungrateful that she's willing to pay for it but i'd rather she save the money for important things.i might as well just stay at home because afterall what's the difference staying there? it's still in singapore.plus,now's a really bad time to spend that much money. honestly i'd rather we go malaysia but she keeps on emphasizing that it's such a dangerous place,with all the parang killings and robberies and such.i don't know.maybe i'll try to change her mind but i doubt that'll work.we'll see.i'll be happy enough if we get to go port dickson coz it's been a long time since i've been there. i'm hitting the sheets now,goodnight. (: Wednesday, April 15, 2009
for those of you who have been waiting for me to fill up an entry with tons of photos,well today's your lucky day. lau pa sat and marina barrage with dearest and his friends in january.      mp poster presentation,official last day of lessons in school,sentosa outing.even though i may not be that close to them,i'll miss them,especially cai yun,fai and haz.i'll miss shikin making us all laugh because of her cuteness.i'll miss sitting at lectures with them.i'll miss the lessons,i'll miss working with them during fsm lab where we all get to cook. i'll miss having lunch at itas with them.          chilling at singapore flyer with the usual clan.       last sunday's outing.  din with his matrep hair.haha! i like it though.super cool.            haha wtf is this even.i forgot what we were laughing about.but i love this picture,it's so candid and i can laugh just by looking at dearest's face.so retarded.haha please don't kill me!   if you don't play left4dead you can skip this whole paragraph.we played versus instead of the usual campaign so i was teamed up with dearest versus nisa,din and ber.all of us had a chance to be the bad guys.i kept getting incapacitated by nisa! coz din and her pakat to kill me.haha nabei.and my team members were all killed except for dearest when din became the tank.in the end dearest died too and our enemy team ended up dying as well.but it's okay all's good.it was really an enjoyable competitive game. (: i got pretty annoyed at dearest at some point because he kept yelling at me to follow his instructions and told me to get up and run when i'm already incapacitated.i almost wanted to shout at him.haha.but it's alright,i understand his competitive nature and he has this tendency to push me whenever we lan game,which i think is good most of the time. headed down to rasa-rasa seafood,waited for fit and dropped ber off after dinner.cancelled on marina barrage and settled on waterfront instead.played some frog game and chop chilli chop haha.nisa sent us home one by one.thank you for the rides again! had a great time with all of you.    chilling session with sheena and her friends on monday.i can't help but smile everytime i think about sheena saying "i slept with you what?" hahahaha.inside joke.freaking hilarious.and those guys are super funny people. ohh,this is a reminder to myself and everyone that i do not tolerate hypocrites.they disgust me to the core of my stomach.i'm dealing with alot of things already and the last thing i need is cb motherfuckers in my life.i feel sad for these fucking ridiculous two-faced cowards who think that all the love in the world is for them but the actual fact is that they have a serious lack of conscience and integrity.so for those of you who are dealing with such things,no worries.let karma "settle" things for you.what goes around comes around.and there is always a damn good reason behind every shit that happens in your life. goodnight (: Saturday, April 11, 2009
happy 22 months,dearest. eventhough you can be such an irritating bugger at times with your lame jokes and forever disturbing me or being one freaking hell of a jerk sometimes,i still love you the same. like always,thank you for being with me. (: Friday, April 10, 2009
at the end of the day,i'm all i've got. i realised even the people whom i thought could understand me after years and years of friendship still may not understand the torment that is raging inside. not because i refuse to tell them.i shouldn't expect them to understand because they are not in my shoes.i'm trying my hardest not to let it affect my daily life.but sometimes i just want to breakdown or go to an empty and secluded field where nobody can find me to scream and cry my lungs out till my throat hurts.i wouldn't even care if i'll lose my voice. i do share things. but honestly what can they do? what can i do? NOTHING else except for picking myself up and continue walking through this journey called "life". enough said. Thursday, April 02, 2009
din: so what do you like about fizah? adib: you know she doesn't eat alot of things right? din: yes why? adib: i like the fact that she's cerewet.i don't know why but i find it nice. din: *looks at adib like he's crazy* haha so basically you like her flaws la? adib: yeah i do. awww.that is the most touching thing a guy has ever said about me.when dearest told me they had this conversation,i was surprised to find out that he likes my flaws.that really touches me alot.it was a good feeling knowing that he likes my flaws but to tell his guy friend and not be ashamed of it makes a whole lot of difference. you are the bomb (: if his friends are reading this,you guys now know why he is chubby eversince he's with me.BECAUSE OF ME LA.haha.he's always willing to eat my leftovers for me,even if he's full sometimes.this is just one of the reasons why i love him so much,apart from many other things.sorry dear i made you fatter now :/  gran torino with sheena,fitri and phyza on monday was awesome.yeah i do agree with some people's opinion that it wasn't as fantastic as changeling,which was also produced and directed by clint eastwood but i had to give it some credit.clint eastwood's potrayal of walt kowalski was phenomenal and his wittiness definitely had me and sheena laughing like crazy asses.damn,imagine if he was my grandad! that'd be super cool.gran torino reminds me alot of freedom writers.if you're the kind who likes films with racial violence,weeping endings and heartbreaking storylines,this is the one for you.by the way,the gran torino is one heck of a beauty. best part of all? we watched it in GV GOLD FUCKING CLASS AND IT WAS FREE! totally swell! the seats are super comfy and big with blankets and there's a leg rest which is adjustable.if anyone wants to order anything from the menu,just have to click some button on the table but of course we didn't coz the food wasn't halal.i sneaked long john combo 1 inside,thank god the guy didn't catch me and chase me out.sheena told me that a brownie costs 10 dollars. !@#$"^ it was really a good experience.thanks to sheena and her dad! thank you so much (:
it was a once in a lifetime thing for me because i sure as hell wouldn't even think of paying 30 ridiculous bucks just to sit in gold class and watch a movie.i would rather spend it on swensens or shopping.haha.dearest's reaction was absolutely priceless and he was like pukimak! (pardon the language) with his jaw wide open.yeah,30 buckeroos is insane alright. me and dearest headed down to kembangan just now for dinner at noor jannah's kitchen.for those of you who know me very well,seafood is not my thing.in fact,i hate seafood except for fish.crab is not too bad for me though coz the meat tastes alot like fish,except fish is much tender and flaky.but crab is not something i will eat often.when i say that,i mean very rarely.surprisingly,i was willing to share chilli CRAB hor fun opeh with him and it was simply delish.but i swear that can never beat ayam lemak cili padi from seah im foodcourt.serious.it is to die for. speaking of ayam lemak cili padi,i'm so craving for that right now. |